“When you cry, I cry. I cry along with you.”
- Joycelyn Siame
- Mar 3
- 2 min read
I’m a crier, what can I say. Since I turned 30 years old, I can cry at the drop of a hat, from joy, to anger, to sadness, anxiety, frustration… I am now officially a crier. The last time I cried was a few weeks ago. This was from frustration and restlessness. I love the idea of my businesses and the direction I am going in, but fear and doubt reared its ugly head and I started to doubt myself. That I am not doing all that I need to do succeed. That I am not moving fast enough, not making a profit. It all hit me that I am in over my head. What makes me feel that I can succeed in this.
You see, fear and doubt are my oldest friends (childhood trauma, am I right?), and they love to come in at the most inopportune times. This is one of them. I actually had some possible clients lined up for myself. I made great connections and was feeling good about myself. Then the negative thoughts started to creep in, and I do what I do best, which is to shut down and cry. Most of the time I try to hold back my tears, until I got clear about something… Crying is an energy release. This is why in my 30s I just allowed myself to let the tears flow because I held them in and back for so long. So, in this instance, I let the tears go, and with it I let out the fear and doubt that was rearing their ugly heads, and allowed myself release. Then I got clear. I got clear about the facts of the situation I am in now, what I need to succeed, and separated the truth from the fear. It is not going to be an easy road, but it is mine for the taking.
With this, I added a new item to my self healing arsenal, which is radical self-forgiveness. I forgave myself for the horrible things I said, and navigated why I felt this way. Why these thoughts and feelings come up, and I know there is a lot of healing left in me to do, but I am up for the challenge.
I am the CEO not only of my business, but of my life, and my next innovation is that of radical self-love.
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